I haven’t posted regularly as one is “supposed” to. There’s several reasons for this: the world event known as Coronavirus, starting the first job I’ve had in ten years, and also general depression.
Beyond these things, I’ve come to realize my dreams of writing novels is going nowhere. The reason is because I keep comparing my ideas, symbolism, and themes, with those currently successful in the industry. It’s killing my creativity. Rather than telling my truth, I’ve been chasing the fog, the secret sauce, or magic bullet to success.
I can’t see in the fog. And more so, I’m at a point in my life where it feels important to state truths rather than ostentatious, filler entertainment.
Chasing the Truth
This realization kicked me in the teeth. I thought I was chasing my own thing for a long time but it just isn’t true. I can’t claim to be “starting over” though. I’d barely started my journey at the height of my writing career (which wasn’t all that high if we’re being honest). However, I am starting fresh. I’ve begun reading again: fantasy, self-help books, and book industry journals (and plenty of blogs).
I sit in front of my computer every night attempting to write down words. I’ve started the same story three times with two different protagonists and three different settings. None are good and none are telling the story I want to tell, so I will start again until I get it right.
I’m chasing the truth y’all. My truth. Who I am, the very reason anybody might want to read what I have to say. That’s not easy to answer, but somehow, I know it’s the only way to move forward with any hope of telling an outstanding story.
One rediscovered truth of myself is that I enjoy stories. Happy, sad, bitter, sour, heavy, or light, I enjoy seeing how others interact with and react to the world. If you’ve read this far, please leave me your quarantine story, how are you doing? Are you finding truths of yourself that maybe you tucked away? I’d love to hear your story.